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Disclaimer: I am a dj. I am not a writer. I am not a theater major. I don’t have any expertise in the film industry. What I do have is an opinion, as I watch movies and drink martinis. Here are my thoughts…

Marmaduke

In theaters: June 4th

Rating: (almost a 1.5)

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I’m so over the dragging of childhood memories onto the big screen.  EVERYTHING doesn’t need to be a movie, especially this cute quirky cartoon strip about a talking dog.  I don’t know what was most insulting; watching several dogs with their mouths moving  for two hours or the life lessons shoved down my throat via the over the top sentiment.   I recall thinking several times “Am I actually sitting here through this?”  This was no Marley and Me.

I think my breaking point was the nostalgic ‘Old Yella’ moment.  This is definitely not a kid movie, which makes it all the more insulting.  Really!!!???? You expect me to be excited about watching an entire movie about a dog’s life trials and tribulations?  Really?  AND if so, you could at least make me feel like less of an idiot while I’m doing it!!!

Not to completely bash the movie-It had a few bright spots.  There was occasional adult humor, and some cute moments.   There, not completely bitter.

Anyhoo, wait for the video.  If during the week that it’s released you have other options, wait for cable. (wow, this was  my first bad review *applause please*)

Until next time, popcorn precious…I’ll see you, at The Cynn-ema!

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