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While reading a book on the train this morning, I looked around the car and couldn’t help thinking, “It’s nice to be independent sometimes.” Maneuvering yourself around a big city is such an anonymous adventure and it can be so much easier when you’re your own guide. While it’s extremely important to have connections like family, friends, and significant others in your life, it’s also good to feel confident doing things on your own! Independence is something women should strive for: the ability to be self-sufficient and in charge of their own life. While a lot of times it feels like a “man’s world” where women aren’t 100% equal, it’s important for females to feel empowered enough to procure things on their own. Why is it good to give yourself independent time once in a while? Also, how can you be the strong, independent woman that you are without compromising your responsibilities?:

Independence has many good qualities:

1. You can take control of your own destiny. I love sitting on the train by myself with my coffee and reading because it gives me individual time to veg out and make decisions by myself. Usually, when I’m on a train with friends, I always have to relinquish control to someone else because they’re natural-born leaders or can’t stand not having people follow them around. When I’m just by myself and can make my own rules, it’s both an introspective and empowering moment because I am the sole controller of what happens. This might sound slightly anti-social, but isn’t it good to feel like your own leader once in a while? You’re independent – you can do it!

2. It’s good to be confident on your two feet. This is especially true in a big city where you have to keep your wits about you. You shouldn’t be too distracted while roaming around, but you should also just enjoy the freedom and refresh yourself on YOU. If you can take public transport, drive for errands, or get coffee by yourself, it can be empowering and interesting. This can also be metaphorical – are you comfortable with yourself and making decisions for just you? It’s good to have a decisive side and be able to take control of yourself without others influencing you.

3. Gain perspective on your life. Sometimes you don’t notice certain things when you’re with a big group, but once in a while, go through your life like a movie: sit on a bench in a park and listen to the music in your head. Relax and take everything in. Be comfortable with the silence. It’s good to just be by yourself sometimes and just think.

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4. The obvious: not be dependent on anyone but yourself. While it makes sense when you’re a child to rely on your parents for important decisions, once you become an adult, you should be able to be comfortable doing things by yourself. Be like Beyonce – go solo from Destiny’s Child! You don’t have to have family, friends, or significant others taking care of you – if you can get a job, make your own money, and support yourself, you can be self-reliant and fabulous. Don’t let yourself be taken care 0f – take care of yourself!

5. Be yourself. You can be anyone you want to be once you’re self-reliant and can take care of yourself BY yourself. Once you love yourself and prove to people that you’re strong, then you can be a good friend, family member, and/or significant other to someone else. Be independent and you take the world head on!

It’s always good to take some time to relax and enjoy your time alone. For example, I always people- watch on the train in the morning and just enjoy not having to talk to anyone for a while. Even I do chat with someone, like a lost tourist, I still feel in control of my own life because I’m there by myself. It’s a change being on a train by myself from being with my friends because I’m my own guide, as opposed to relinquishing control of my traveling to the person with me. If you can be self-reliant and do things on your own, figuratively and metaphorically, then you’re in charge of your destiny and are a stronger person as a result. Make sure you trust yourself to take control – get out there and be a strong, independent woman!

*If you have trouble finding time alone, being independent in mind and self is a state. If you’re able to think original thoughts, make decisions for yourself, and just being yourself in general, then you have independent traits – therefore, that doesn’t compromise your responsibilities at all if you’re just being who you are. Even reading in bed or having some alone time to collect your thoughts for 20 minutes is a good use of figurative independence. Just be yourself and everything will fall into place!

5 Reasons Why Being Independent & Self-Reliant Is Good  was originally published on